With or Without You

The grass outside
like the late afternoon
in my former unhappiness
When bitterness followed hope
like a daily hangover
follows an enthusiastic party

that hope is like a memory
of that Alexander Graham Bell play I was in
Wasn't I dancing in a yellow dress
Or was that the star? I can't remember my part anymore.
Trying not to lock my knees
while the main characters talked and talked
that bitterness is like the taste of warm water

Like a lighthouse
was some feeling of old knowing about
how thing really work out
how things improve
how life is hard and good when you least want it to be
Change in the air
could have just been the feeling of
being at the end of one's rope

The sky was hanging over us
We didn't know each other yet
But I loved you before
Before I knew why I should love you
Before I knew my own strength
Before I was
this happy so alone

The best part of me was always in you
Even then, before we met
when I saw you
I hated you for some invisible reason
Maybe I saw me in you
And hated me you me for it.

Those days are fading with all the other memories
But you go on, like I do

Now you are me in some other place
Without me
And I am here
With or without you